You've Probably Never Heard Of Us
Aww. The cute girl I used to crush on – from the lefty activist group in California – she still looks just 18. I was a bad boy. She had no idea that I was actually working, er, “undercover” just to keep tabs on their little anti-fa group.
The girls are an “easy in.” Men tend to be suspicious of each other and don’t make friends easily. But every gal wants to be swept off of her feet by a handsome stranger – it’s literally every romantic movie ever. She said I reminded her of John Cusak in “Grosse Point Blank” because of how “mysterious” I was. So, she was an easy in to the group. Her “mentor” – if that is what you want to call it – in this group – hated my guts, and felt I “stole” her away. When we took a road trip up the coast to attend one of their environmental whack-job conferences he threw a fit – he just didn’t want me around. Even told her that he thought I was the FBI or something, because I had (rather stupidly) sounded them out to see if there were any nutjob Timothy McVeigh types – this group was related to some of the tree spikers that were responsible for the death of a logger, and one of their most famous activists was caught with some sort of improvised bombs in her car.
So now she’s a history professor at a relatively famous Cali university – probably still a lefty, but now a professional. She still looks young too – like really young. I saw her picture on the faculty site – my god she hasn’t aged a day, and it’s been 20 years.
Of course I never laid a hand on her until her birthday (hey I was in my early 20s so it wasn’t creepy or anything.)
It all happened by accident. You see, I knew computers so got a job as a temp with a police agency in my hometown. Just doing computer stuff, I wasn’t an actual cop. But, you know, one thing led to another and I asked about undercover work. And, you know, I could pull it off. Grew my hair out, grow a hippie beard, took my guitar and sang a bit. I played the part, it was easy. Hell, I liked smoking weed anyway. So I moved out to California – being trailed by my friend in the CIA – who I didn’t know was in the CIA. Hey, I had classes with the guy in high school I knew his Dad was CIA, but everyone’s dad was in some three-letter agency or another, so it just seemed normal. My dad never told me exactly what he did – he’d have to kill me, ha ha (they love that joke.) But now – NOW? I wonder what the hell that guy was doing, trailing me around the country. We even roomed together for a while. Frankly, I think I was being set up. My guess – and it’s only a guess – is that I was his “double.” He probably stole my ID – we looked surprisingly alike, and he always cut his hair and grew his facial hair the same way I did – even dressed like me. So I suspect I was his cover. I don’t even think he was really my friend, frankly. And now I realize that the visit to his dad his DC was sort of my “interview.”
Now? He’s dropped off the face of the earth. He did look in on me a few years after “the event” – when I started talking – which I assume was basically figuring out how much I knew and if I would talk. I always did have a big mouth, and while I may be “morally flexible” about some things, I’m not the murdering type. I don’t like having my office building blown up.
So, man, those early years, the late 90s. 2000, 2001, I just didn’t have a clue. I thought I was “in the know” but that is the thing with compartmentalization – you never know who is higher up the chain then you are. Then – add in the fact that some of these people were foreigners – you know, from that shitty little country half way around the world – dual citizens, you just never know who is working for who and who has an agenda.
I guess everyone has an agenda.
But I digress. You see, all’s fair in love and war. So it was basically my MO. Find the cute girl, flirt, get her into bed, then she is my entry to whatever group. And, of course, all men lose their shit around pretty girls. Pretty girls get access to basically anything they want. This is a symptom of the breakdown of monogamy. If everyone was married and no cheating, you could have tight-knit groups that could keep outsiders out.
My favorite former blogger clued me in – CIA and the serious organizations – they DO, in fact, regulate your love life. Your potential spouse has to be vetted by them. Which just makes sense. But you’re young, in a lefty crowd where everyone is fucking everyone else and casual sex is sort of commonplace, well, who knows who is doing who and who is working whoever else.
I guess it makes me a whore – basically, a prostitute. But hey – I was a young guy, traveling around the country, even out of the country and it was all so very exciting. So, find the pretty girl of the group – the one all the other guys are fighting over – and bam, once you have her, you’re in. The other guys won’t question you because it will make them look jealous – lol. It’s so, so easy.
Ao anyway she’s all grown up, a professor now. She probably doesn’t even remember me – I’m sure I was one of many – but wow, do I remember her. She was super-smart, but young girls often don’t realize how pretty they really are, how alluring they can be. They have all of this power but most of them don’t even understand it. Oh, sure, some do – some know how to manipulate men – but that tends to be a skill they learn as they age. Youth is wasted on the young.
On the other hand, I’m not some sort of heartless womanizer or something – far from it. I’m a romantic at heart. You’re allowed to sleep with them, but falling in love is considered very unprofessional. But hey, I fell in love all the time. I can’t have sex with a gal and not develop feelings for her – who could? You’d have to be some sort of sociopath. Some people can do casual sex, but sex leads to feelings, at least for men. I don’t know about women. Frankly, women are more “practical” than men. They fall in and out of love depending on how useful the man is to them, from what I can tell. But guys, they are romantics. So they fall in love with a woman – or their idealized version of that woman.
Um so where was I. Oh right. The lefty chick. Chicks don’t really do “movements” – they just get excited by the protesting. Why do you think girls like to take their tops off and flash their boobs as part of some “political protest?” It’s because they love to be looked at. They love having all eyes on them. Why do you think girls love Facebook and taking selfies? It’s their number one fantasy. That is just how they operate.
So anyway, frankly, I was exploited. It’s fun to pretend to be James Bond and the like – but what thanks do you get? Do you think you get a pension or something? If you are deep cover, they won’t even acknowledge your existence. Look what happened to poor Susan Lindauer – look what Richard Fuisz did to her. He was a handsome rich playboy, I’m sure she was putty in his hands. What was her thanks? A year in a military prison, charged under the “PATRIOT Act” – and her CIA handlers pretended they didn’t even know her.
So, as the blogger said, the guys on the top floor – the manager, they don’t get involved in that shit. They have families. Sure, they may have mistresses or whatever. Really, when you are in a crew, if you are the swinger type, you do old fashioned wife-swapping. That keeps it all “in the family” so to speak. No leaks. But no one is going to give up a normal personal life if they know what is good for them. The “James Bond” thing is just a silly fantasy that men have. At the end of the day, it’s just sex. “All cats are grey in the dark” – that’s Ben Franklin. At the end of the day, sex is just rubbing body parts together. It’s not a lifestyle, unless you are a sociopath. Promiscuity is a symptom of sociopathy. Not everyone who is promiscuous is a sociopath, but lots of sociopaths are promiscuous.
But really, at the end of the day, why would some nice American girl – cute – join some crazy “activist” group? To “save the earth? For … “justice?” LOL.
It’s to meet handsome boys. But how do you know those boys really “believe” in the supposed “cause?” Does it even matter? How do you know those girls really believe in the “cause” either?
In the long run, we’re all dead.